


This is Our Church To Be

by IWillSingWithYou



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey is a mess, Slow Burn, TLJ Spoilers, also Kylo Ren is a murderer no matter what, let's see where that goes, she grew up alone and in danger, so cut her some slack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:26:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWillSingWithYou/pseuds/IWillSingWithYou
Summary: Picks up right after The Last Jedi. General Organa, Leia and what is left from the Resistance have to find ways to rebuild and grow. However, Rey keeps being interrupted from this by unwelcome visits from the Supreme Leader of the First Order.This is building up to be quite plotty so I hope you like that!





	1. The house in the clouds

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this instead of working on my PhD, so please appreciate the sacrifice! I have like a third of this written and I know, more or less, where it's going, but maybe I'll need to do some changes along the way.  
> Hope you like it!

**Chapter 1: The House in the Clouds**

As the Millenium Falcon finally touched the ground, the pressure in Rey’s chest subsided enough for her breath to fill her lungs without the pain that had haunted her since the ship’s door had closed for the last time. Now, it opened once again with a satisfying hiss and she could take her first breath of fresh air in a week. Land, the promise of solitude, space, and at least some time to think was such a profound relief it brought tears to her eyes. Finn must have heard her sigh because not a second later his arm was around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. The urge to step away was strong, but she resisted it. They had both lived long enough without kindness or human connexion to know how important it was.

 

“It’s a new chance to fight,” He whispered in her ear. She wondered if he actually believed that or was trying to comfort himself as well as her with those words. The resistance had been all but obliterated. The last Jedi had died, or moved on, when they most needed him. He had kept Kylo Ren, the new Supreme Leader of the First Order, at bay long enough for them to escape. Only sixty resistance soldiers remained. Leia, their tireless leader, had survived exposure to outer space but now her health seemed in decline. Rey could feel her strength wavering, her words becoming less hopeful and determined. The First Order ruled over the universe now and no one would fight against it anymore. Rey swallowed all these thoughts and let them fall like stones into her stomach. She didn’t have the strength to pretend anymore. They had all been crammed into a ship not made to house that amount of people and she had not had more than a couple seconds of solitude in a week. Fortunately, the ship’s open door offered the way out she had been longing for. She moved forward, out of Finn’s arm and into a jungle.

 

The weather was cool, though not unpleasantly so. The smell of humidity, damp soil and rotting leaves, hit her nostrils all at once like the planet was making her part of itself and claiming ownership. Had she not been surrounded by people, she would have fallen to the ground, hugging this unknown planet until its mossy surface spread over her and claimed her forever. As it was, she simply took a deep breath and walked behind General Organa limping figure, through the thick, humid, and noisy vegetation. Finn followed her with Rose, and behind them, all that was felt of the resistance.

 

This planet was the opposite of Jakku. There was no sand, no heat, no endless silence, no desperate competition for resources that made life as rare as gold. Here, life surrounded them entirely, a whole planet teeming with animals, big and small, their little noises combining into a cacophony of abundance. In the noise, she missed the humming coming from her own mind until she saw him standing next to the mossy stone path they were walking on.

 

“—expenses would far surpass any benefits from such endeavour. We need to shift our priorities now,” his deep voice rumbled, instantly pulling her rapt attention. She stumbled slightly and both Finn and him turned to her. His dark eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down, his words dying in his mouth. His jaw clenched and he turned back to whoever he was speaking to, clearly listening to their response.

 

“You ok?” Finn asked her, his hand on her elbow like she was some fainting princess from a holoshow. She stepped away.

 

“Yeah, just a tree root,” She answered, and continued walking. She noticed Rose on Finn’s other side, her hand on his elbow as he helped her walk. She smiled tightly at the girl and continued on her way. As she passed him, she felt his eyes on her again, a prickle of awareness on the back of her neck. It was the first time she saw him since she had left him kneeling in the rebel base. She had completely expected the connection between them to have ended with the death of its creator, but apparently that would have been far too helpful to her mental health for the world to allow it.

* * *

 

 

A mist fell over them as they neared what would be their new headquarters. Night came with it suddenly, without the drag of light that happens closer to the poles of planets. In darkness, and surrounded by white mist and natural noise, Rey feared they would miss the sprawling house she had seen in the distance. She didn’t think they could last much longer outside without one of them being bitten by something dangerous. So far they were just covered in itches from the planet’s insects feasting on the new flesh offered, but the night would surely bring worse. However, General Organa was surefooted on the slippery stone path, despite her cane, and lead them right to a house with a terrace all along the front of it. Dirty glass doors were the only barrier between the outside and a wide room with rotting couches that was surely an old living room. Rey had to hold back a bitter snort. An indefensible house in a planet close to known First Order territory was not her idea of a good hideout.

 

As soon as she stepped inside, a vision assaulted her, transforming the world around her. The house came to life, cobwebs disappearing and colours coming back to full splendor. It had not been just a house. It had been loved. Every chair and painting and decoration had the imprint of family, of growing, and unity, and unconditional love. Everything Rey had never had, this house had held in an abundance that felt grotesque and excessive to her deprived soul. And just as she saw it come to life, it faded away, leaving the empty, abandoned space in front of them.

 

“My great-grandmother grew up in this house,” Leia murmured to Rey.

 

Rey didn’t say anything in response to this. The privilege dripping from that sentence annoyed her. She was still reeling from the previous vision when he appeared inside the house. He raised his eyes to hers. There were deep, dark bags under them and his hair seemed limp. She hadn’t noticed how tired he looked earlier in the day, when she saw him in the jungle.

 

“Ben never knew about it, since he never cared to know about my ties to the Organas,” General Organa offered again, as if trying to convince Rey of the merit of her decision. This, more than anything, destroyed the last speck of hope that still resided in her heart and replaced it with a fatalistic certainty. This would be the last headquarters. They would be the last of the resistance.

He looked on as she nodded and walked past Leia and into the large living room. He was frowning at her, trying to figure something out. She, too, was surprised to see him again so soon.

 

“What did you do?” He asked, his voice harsh. It was the first time he spoke directly to her since she had left him in that throne room. She looked fully at him and realised what he was referring to. Instead of just seeing him, with the edges of his body weirdly melting into her own surroundings, he was stark clear in the middle of the living room. More than that, she suspected the massive desk he was sitting behind was not part of her world but his. She looked around to her comrades in arms but none of them seemed to have noticed the glowering man in their midst. Trying not to appear too out of her mind, she walked to him, standing in front of his desk and stared at him. He really did look solid and real. His eyes bore into hers, filled with rage and purpose.

 

“I can see the floor you’re standing on,” He said, his gaze flickering to her feet before coming back to her eyes. “Marble from Naboo. Did the General think I wouldn’t dare chase you there?”

 

They weren’t in Naboo, though she didn’t want him attacking that planet just the same. She raised an eyebrow at him, taunting him to keep trying.

“Not Naboo? Then the house of someone rich enough to import it and attached enough to it to want it,” He continued smugly. That was when she noticed the map trapped between his elbow and the wooden desk. It was like no map she’d ever seen. What she had seen in the maps she recovered in Jakku was in the centre of his as well, but this map extended pathways from Jakku far into the unknown regions, and even into what she suspected was another galaxy. These pathways led to hundreds, maybe thousands, other planets that no one in the resistance knew existed. Her heartbeat sped at the implications.

He must have noticed her looking, for he folded the map over and placed it aside on the desk. As soon as his hand stopped touching it, it disappeared from her view. She blinked, startled at the sudden change.

“You can see here too. How is this possible?”

 

“Rey?” Finn asked, grazing her forearm with his fingers to get her attention. He got Ren’s attention as well. His gaze, which had turned inquisitive and fascinated while he tried to understand their connection was now showing only hatred. He glared at Finn as he stood and lighted the lightsaber now in his hands. Rey stepped quickly away from Finn and saw Ren’s gaze grow unfocussed. Sure now that he couldn’t attack her friend, she turned to Finn to see him frowning.

 

“Yeah?”

“There aren’t nearly enough rooms for everyone so we’re pairing up. Maybe you’d like to have a room with Rose?” Finn asked and the idea made Rey a little uncomfortable. She barely knew Rose and she was not used to sharing her space in the first place.

“Can’t I just share a room with you?” She countered, finding that idea much more comfortable for her. She trusted Finn entirely, and he was just as new as her to normal human interactions.

“You’d prefer that? I’d like that.”

Rey smiled broadly, nodding. Kylo Ren got up from his desk and then both were gone. Rey let out a breath in relief and placed a hand on Finn’s forearm, squeezing a bit. Finn smiled back.

“Come on, then, I’ll show you our room. It’s one of the better ones!” He talked enthusiastically as they walked past a library and a long corridor with massive, indefensible windows.


	2. Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia is actually as badass as everyone thinks and Rey is struggling with pesky feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anyone beta-ing this, so if you see something that needs correction, please let me know.

**Chapter 2: Wrath**

Leia stood in front of the mass of barely-awake resistance fighters, leaning heavily on her cane. She looked just as tired as the rest of them, but her voice carried easily and they all listened intently.

“Lapravis, the planet you are currently on, is officially considered uninhabitable by humans, so we won’t meet anyone while we’re here. It was a common planet for the big families from Alderaan to build second homes and holiday resorts. Right before the destruction of the Senate, I received word that this planet was once more safe for human habitation, since I own one of the houses left here. There are very few Alderaanians left, so I don’t think anyone else privy to this information is still alive today. As such, I welcome you all to the headquarters of the New Resistance. We will have to start from very little, but there are standing structures, and, most of all, there are many hastily abandoned houses owned by very rich people. Our first task will be to gather as many objects of value as we can to sell them in the Outer Rim markets and hopefully gather enough credits to rebuild what we’ve lost.”

Leia winked at Rey as their eyes met across the courtyard. She had known, then, how hopeless the whole resistance endeavour had seemed to her just the day before. But Leia had pulled another miracle for them and now there was hope again. Rey smiled, her whole body feeling lighter. They quickly divided into groups to search the houses but just as Rey was preparing to go with Finn, Rose, and Poe, Leia stopped her with a look and came over to her.

“When the Alderaanians started establishing here, they came with a Jedi master for protection. He made this planet his home base and had a personal library. I imagine most of the books have been eaten away by time, but if there’s anything worth recovering, you should be the one to have it.”

* * *

The Jedi master’s house was nowhere near as large as Leia’s and it had not stood the test of time in good shape. It was a lot higher in the mountains, the weather even changing to something more humid and cold. Rey had almost missed it, as it was almost entirely covered in vines and moss. She’d had to use a knife to cut through the vegetation blocking the main door to even get inside. She didn’t have a lot of hope for the books. She crossed the entrance foyer and went into what looked like it had been a bedroom, though the wooden bed had rotten away to the floor. Just as she was turning away to try another room, he appeared in front of her, and he wasn’t alone.

“–you very much, Supreme Leader,” a woman Rey had never seen before was saying. “This means a lot to us, to me.”

Her hand was clutching his, and he was leaning casually against a wall that was partially visible to Rey. The floating piece of wall in the room was jarring, but not nearly as much as the presence of another person in their bond. Rey gritted her teeth in annoyance. She couldn’t see the woman’s face, as her back was facing her, but her long black dress revealed she was shapely and her long curly hair was beautifully arranged on the back of her head. Rey felt instantly repulsed by her, though she knew this was probably due to the combined effect of her invasion of what was essentially her mental space, and her obvious ties to the First Order. She was seething so much she missed his response and only came back to herself when the woman disappeared again. Kylo seemed to only notice Rey then, and pushed from the wall, which promptly disappeared, to walk a few steps away from her.

“I will see you tonight to discuss this further,” he said and then nodded at something said to him.

“Why is the bond so different now?” Rey asked, not expecting him to answer. He walked closer to her, frowning.

“It seems to show what we touch as well now,” he pointed to somewhere to his left. Rey looked, but there was nothing of note there. She hoped the woman was gone now.

“I thought it would break with Snoke’s death,” she murmured, staring at his gloved hand so as to avoid looking at his face. Her eyes were burning, betraying the mass of feelings inside her that she had no hope of detangling.

“I don’t believe he was telling the truth when he took credit for its creation,” his words brought her eyes back to his in surprise. “Though it would have been a welcome development for you, I’m sure.”

He said it with a neutral tone that made her want to scream at him, like it was all the same to him. Maybe it was.

“Yes, it would have been! I don’t want to be constantly forced to see the man who killed two people I admired and would’ve killed everyone I care about!”

“Why would I have saved the Resistance? What reason could I possibly have to do that?”

His tone was growing harsher and harsher with every word. Rey’s anger grew with it and with a savage shout she had swung her staff off her back and towards his face. He ducked quickly, surprise on his face now. She swung again, determined to hurt him somehow, even though the staff would probably go right through him. Her next blow connected, pulling all the breath out of her body in shock. But then she realised it had only connected with his hand as he caught it and pulled it, and her, closer to him. His other hand closed around her throat and he stepped even closer.

“You don’t even have a lightsaber anymore. I could kill you so easily if we actually fought,” he spat directly to her face. “I would destroy you in a second and be happy for it!” His breath hit her cheek, his whole body towering over her. She gritted her teeth and kicked him between the legs as hard as she could manage.

He crumbled right to the floor and, filled with adrenaline, she followed him, trying to reach his belt and the lightsaber clipped on it. He had fallen on that side so she quickly realised it was a futile attempt and attacked his neck instead. The second of hesitation was enough for him to recover his senses. He managed to grab one of her wrists and push it away from his face, his grip so tight it made her scream in anger and pain. She twisted on him, one of her knees pressing his other arm to the floor and her hand closing around his throat over the cowl he was wearing.

“Who is she?” the words were ripped out of her own throat without her consent, the fury coursing through her making her voice crackle with a power she didn’t control. The words didn’t even register in her brain until suddenly their eyes met and she wanted to take them back. It was a stupid thing to ask. She had an endless list of complaints against him that she could’ve used. He wouldn’t answer with anything that would be remotely useful for the resistance. And most of all, by the softening of his grasp on her wrist and the widening of his eyes as he looked at her, he had completely misinterpreted her reasons for asking that question.

“Scavanger,” he said softly, his dark eyes boring into her. “You do realise you’re using the dark side of the force right now, don’t you?”

The truth in his words hit her a second later and she scrambled to get up, put some distance between them. But he wouldn’t let go of her wrist. She pulled, her feet now on either side of his hips and standing over him and him trying to pull her back to the floor. She pulled harder but his sudden disappearance made her fall on her bum with the impulse.

She stayed there, breathing harshly and trying to regain some semblance of balance. She had tapped into a power called upon by rage and even baser emotions. She had done exactly what Master Luke had warned her against. But he had never taught her how to avoid it, or much of anything at all.

She resolved to study all the books she could find in this house, and the ones hidden in the Falcon so she could control the power inside her from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome ;)


	3. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Reposted) Rey gets closer to her friends in the Resistance while trying to understand what she is learning about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to repost this because I wasn't happy about the version that was published. And there's been some changes with timing as well, because I found out some canon stuff I want to include later. I'll try to do that as little as possible in the future. Anyway, the changes aren't that big, just keeping this a little more in character. I hope you like it!

**Chapter 3: Friendship**

 

Finn and Poe found her surrounded by half rotten books and artefacts. Her hair was disheveled beyond any control by her frustrated hands and she was covered in dust and dirt from head to toe.

“You okay, Rey?” Poe asked her as they both came closer. Rey jumped nearly out of her skin, completely taken by surprise.

“Kriff!” She swore, the book in her hands ripping messily in half. She stared at it in disgust.

“Sorry!” Poe said, kneeling in front of her as Finn picked up the broken pieces of the book.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s an awful book anyway. I’m glad I’m the last that has to read it,” she said, her voice full of anger she couldn’t control. Finn’s eyes snapped to her at her words and he started scanning the pages in his hand.

“… The purity created by this absence will allow female Jedi to follow the Light without the hindrance of the potential for the feelings which far too often lead even the strongest of women down the path of hatred and violence that characterises the fall to the Dark Side to which women are sadly predisposed by the nature of their sex––” Finn read, a frown etching on his face. “That is a long ass sentence,” he snipped, pulling a laugh from Rey.

“It’s one of the less convoluted ones, if you can believe that. But it’s all just as bad in what they are saying! I thought the Jedi were supposed to be this force of good in the world, but from what I’ve read today it’s all “purity” and “chastity” and some stupid ideas about love that I can’t even begin to understand.” She huffed in frustration and the two men stared at her.

“Well, everyone was worried about you, down at the house.” Poe informed her, and she realised it was late at night. They had probably walked for more than an hour in absolute darkness.

“Sorry! I must’ve lost track of time.”

Poe shrugged.

“We brought some rations and blankets, as well as some bacta patches in case you were hurt. Not many medicals supplies left, but there’s a group going to buy some in a couple of days.”

“Oh, I found some very old wine bottles here, I’m sure those could be sold for a good price,” she said, rising from her uncomfortable position on the ground of the library. She went to pick the bottles from the box she had filled with the few items of value she found around the house. She came back with two of the six bottles and presented one to each man. She knew nothing of wine, but supposedly it was better old. Poe turned the bottle in his grip, trying to read the fading label. Then, his eyes filled with a mischievous glint. He smirked, looking from Rey to Finn.

 

—

 

“So this massive Herglic is coming at me, pants off and everything, and I’m 17 and desperate not show how kriffing scared I am, and that’s when General Organa walks in the room!”

Rey fell on her side, screaming with laughter at Poe’s story and staring at Finn’s horrified expression as he tried not to also lose it entirely. He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shuddering with laughter.

“No! What did you do? What did she say?” He reached out and grabbed Poe’s bicep, desperate for the end of the story.

“Nothing! I ran out of there butt naked and didn’t look at her in the eyes for a whole year. And she kept making these comments… She’s vicious, you have no idea.” Poe took Finn’s hand in his and then reached out for Rey’s as well. Their laughter subsiding, he told them with the utmost seriousness: “I can tell you without the shadow of a doubt that being caught like that by the General was the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.”

Rey and Finn dissolve into giggles again and then Rey notices how much lighter the room is around them. They had been drinking and talking for the whole night. The frustration, the confusion, and the anger that had been plaguing her now seemed like a distant memory.

“We should probably get back,” Finn said, his words slurring a little. “Rose will probably be worried. I wish she could’ve been here with us, she would’ve enjoyed this.”

Rose had still been too weak to walk long distances the night before, and Rey was sorry she had missed their little improvised party. They’d had very little opportunity to get to know each other and she seemed important to Finn. Poe hummed in what could be agreement and helped them get to their feet. Rey felt the air changing around her and stumbled a little to get away from the two men.

“I’ll be right with you, I need a moment.”

 

She headed for the bedroom and found a perfectly modern bed in the middle of it. And a very broad shirtless man sleeping on it. She groaned a little at the sight. The night had been so fun, why did he have to come and ruin it?

She stared at him, unable to help herself. His body was strange in a way that she could not quite understand. He was a fit man, that was for sure. His broadness conveyed strength obtained through rigorous training. But there was something off about him. The proportion of his narrow head in contrast with his wide, wide shoulders; the way his thick forearmsbarely tapered off before giving way to hands. And not to mention his more-than-slightly-asymmetric face, his strong aquiline nose, his too-generous lips. It was all just somewhat not right, too distinctive, too much. The final effect of all of this should not be attractive. It really shouldn’t, Rey told herself.

Suddenly, he had his eyes fixed on hers and his lightsaber dangerously close to her throat. She stepped back, surprised at the violent reaction.

“Hey!” She cried. “I’m not going to attack you!”

“What, like you did just last time we spoke?” He spat back, but turned off his lightsaber. “I don’t like people standing over me while I sleep.”

She swallowed at his words, aware of the reasons for that fear.

“I didn’t mean to,” she said, and sat at the corner of the bed, trying to keep her head from spinning.

“You’re absolutely filthy. Have you been up all night?”

She smiled and saw him frown in response.

“I have, yeah. Might’ve rolled around on the dirty floor a couple of times.”

He looked away with a grimace.

“You’re drunk,” he said, still not looking at her.

“Yep,” she answered, feeling a sense a triumph but now knowing exactly why. She waited for a moment to see if the connection released them. The conversation seemed perfectly civil and she didn’t want to ruin it. It didn’t. “Did you know that during the height of their power, the Jedi masters strongly encouraged female padawans to surgically remove their uterus?”

The sudden change of topic made him look back at her and sit up in his bed, bringing the covers lower down his chest. Rey kept her eyes determinately on his face.

“Yes. They also prohibited strong emotional connections, to either family or romantic partners,” he said, the words imbued with a caution she didn’t really understand.

“But that’s barbaric!” She said, the forgotten frustration mounting again.

“Yes it was. The Jedi Council is nothing to admire, I can assure you. Nothing but a perfect emotional death was good enough for them,” his tone was passionate and, she realised, hurt. She frowned.

“Did Luke believe this? Was that your training?” She was horrified at the thought. Kylo felt things so strongly, she knew even from the echos she got through the bond, it would’ve been torture.

“Not entirely. He was very much against romantic attachments, but he tolerated familial ones for most of his students. Not for me though. As he grew worried about the darkness in me, he tried to get me to distance myself from feeling entirely.”

“But that’s exactly what pushed you, wasn’t it?” She stood from the bed and walked closer to him, towering over him a little in her attempt to catch all his minute expressions. He just looked back at her, unfazed.

“No, it was his betrayal that pushed me. But his methods did allow me to recruit among his students. Like Dashara, who you met yesterday. She was not happy about not being able to have a lover.”

She stepped back, troubled at the information he was giving her and worried he was twisting the truth to his liking.

 

The bed disappeared and her fists curled up.

* * *

 

Rey sat heavily in front of Rose in the extravagant dining room and opened one of the books she had brought with her. This one was the only one that looked promising out of Luke’s books: a detailed history and step by step instruction to lightsaber building. Luke’s destroyed lightsaber helped her understand the inner mechanics, but the crystal that used to power it was completely shattered, so there was no way to rebuild it. She figured she might as well design her own weapon. She had found one particular design for a saberstaff that felt exactly right for her. Rose huffed in annoyance and Rey worried for a moment that her silent arrival and invasion of Rose’s solitude had been rude in some way. But when she looked up, Rose was scowling at a piece of metal.

“You okay?” Rey ventured.

“What?” Rose looked at her, as if surprised by Rey’s presence. “Oh, sorry. I’m just frustrated. I feel absolutely useless here. And this is all a pile of crap.” Rose pointed to the box on the floor next to her. Rey winced a little. Rose had not been happy with them when they returned from the Jedi’s house. She had been even less pleased when just a day later Finn and Poe had decided to embark in an exploratory mission on the other side of the planet. Rose’s leg was still bothering her, and their dwindling medical supplies could not get her in shape soon enough for her liking.

“Let me see,” Rey offered and took the piece of metal from her hand. It was junk, for sure, but enough of the same type of non-conductive construction metal would be worth something in bulk. She told this to Rose, who sighed deeply and continued sorting through her box. Rey bit her lip, wanting to say something to dissipate the girl’s mood. “I’m sure Finn and Poe won’t see anything interesting today. Just more of these unnecessarily big houses.”

Rose smiled a little at that, though she still seemed tense. After a moment, Rey went back to her book. She was reading about kyber crystals when Rose shifted uncomfortably again, clearly wanting to ask something. Rey looked up.

“Have you ever been in love?” Rose rushed out, pulling a confused frown from Rey. She waited for some elaboration but Rose was staring at her, not taking it back. Rey swallowed, not wanting to lie.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” her stomach flipped at the idea, and was determinedly not thinking too hard about it. Rose bit her lip.

“Someone from Jakku?” she ventured, looking down. Rey felt her hands trembling on the page she had only turned halfway.

“No,” she said, her throat dry.

“Oh, okay,” Rose answered. Rey waited, but she didn’t speak further.

“Why do you ask?” She pressed. Rose blushed but shook her head.

“Oh no, no reason. I was just curious.”

Rey frowned in annoyance but was determined to continue with the conversation.

“Have _you_ ever been in love?” Rose looked almost frightened by the question. She shook her head again.

“I don’t think so, no. I don’t know,” Rey smiled at the answer. Evidently she didn’t have the monopoly on complicated emotions.

“Is it something you want?” she asked softly. Rose tilted her head a bit, looking intently at her.

“Isn’t it what everyone wants?”

Rey shrugged, struggling to find the words.

“The Jedi books I’m reading… they say that a good Jedi should not… seek that sort of relationship. Any sort of relationship, really.”

Rose looked at her for a long time, her nervousness from before dissipating into something that seemed a lot like compassion.

“I don’t think that’s healthy. For a person to not have relationships at all. What would that even mean? Would you not be allowed to have friends?”

The outrage in her voice soothed some of Rey’s worries. She shrugged.

“I don’t know. No one alive really knows anymore.”

 

Rose struggled to get up from her seat and went around the table to firmly hug Rey. It took Rey entirely by surprise and she took a moment before putting her arms around Rose as well.

“Then don’t even think about it. Who’s gonna tell you not to have feelings for people? Just do whatever feels right and correct it if something goes wrong, like everyone else in the world.”

Rey’s eyes burned a little at the thought and she held Rose tighter.

“Thank you,” she said, as Rose stepped back. Her eyes looked suspiciously misty as well. Rose smiled at her as she settled back in her seat. “If it’s any consolation, I will take you on my next adventure, even if I need to carry you there.”

Rose laughed.

 

—

 

Later that day, Rey was reading in Finn’s and her room, having escaped the crowded house as everyone returned from their assigned missions. The book she was reading could probably be more accurately called a journal, though it was so devoid of the personality of the writer, she was reluctant to grant it the title. There were lot of almost exact transcripts from Jedi Council meetings, which were interesting in a vague sort of way, for she knew nothing of the people involved. The section she was reading was more immediately interesting, as it described a Jedi object she was pretty sure she had recovered from the house.

“What is that thing?” Kylo asked, looking at the diagram over her shoulder. She startled. She hadn’t felt the customary change in atmosphere around her. She casually dropped the book on the desk and turned to him.

“Just an old book,” she answered, uncomfortable at having to look up at him as she was still sitting. He stepped back, sitting on a suddenly appearing chair from his side.

“You’re doing research then. Have you found anything interesting? Do you have any more questions for me?”

She remembered their conversation in the Jedi’s house. He had answered all her questions generously and calmly. It was disconcerting, and more than a little worrying. All information he could give her would be skewed by his own motives and his preference for the dark side. On the other hand, she did need all the information she could get. Luke was gone. Like it or not, Kylo Ren and some old books were her only sources. This source needed to be treated with a lot of care, though and she did not know how to do that with him.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m going to bed and Finn will be back soon,” she said and she stood, ostensibly going towards her bed. His gloved hand stopped her in her way, pulling her to face him. He looked deeply uncomfortable for a moment, just standing there as he tried to articulate something. She waited, wary. He looked away, staring somewhere to her right. Eventually, he sighed, and his eyes returned to hers.

 

“I don’t think we can stop one of these connections anyway, the same way we can’t intentionally start one,” his voice was crackling with some emotion she couldn’t identify.

“Can we try?” She asked, her voice not entirely under her control either.

 

He nodded after a beat and closed his eyes. She was surprised at this show of trust, though she imagined he could protect himself even with his eyes closed. She closed her own then, trying to push his presence out. They stayed there for a few minutes, but she could still feel him near. Clearly, the bond would not be controlled in such a way. She huffed in frustration and he opened his eyes. She went back to the desk and sat, motioning to where she remembered his chair being.

 

“Where can I get a Kyber crystal then? Or two, really,” she finally asked. She was determined to suspect whatever he answered.

 

He sat on his chair once more, already shaking his head. His hands clenched and unclenched once.

“You don’t. There are no more of them around. The First Order collected them for decades all over the galaxy to build the Starkiller base. They’re all gone now.”

Rey looked down, feeling her hopes start to shatter.

“But how could you get all of them? Luke still had his lightsaber!” She countered. He just shook his head again.

“No, we had ways of tracking the crystals. Luke hid himself and his lightsaber. But there are no Jedi left who are powerful enough to do that.

“So there’s no way I’m ever getting a lightsaber now,” she concluded, the thought more painful than she had anticipated.

 

She felt him pause in thought and looked up at him.

 

“What?”

 

He bit his lip, hesitating.

 

She was suddenly assaulted by an image of her, fighting the praetorian guards with Luke’s lightsaber in her hand. She swallowed, shocked. She could feel his awe and admiration for her strength and power. He wanted that for her, fiercely.

 

“There might be a way,” he started, clearly conflicted. Rey didn’t dare press him. She was seeing the image he had shared with her replaying over and over in her head. He frowned, as if confused about something, before he explained. “A bag of newly-mined Kyber crystals was stolen some five years ago. It was never found, so they must still be out there, somewhere.”

 

Her hope soared. Then extinguished as fast as it came. Why would he share that with her. The image could well be a manipulation.

 

“Who did it? Where was this? How can we find them?” She pressed him, keeping her worry from her face.

“It was stolen from Illum, or Starkiller before the weapon was built. That’s where most of the crystals came from in the first place. When construction started, I asked Snoke for permission to recover some crystals for my knights, as they don’t have lightsabers of their own.”

“The Knights of Ren?” Rey interrupted. “I didn’t know if they were real.”

“They are, you’ve seen one of them.” Rey nodded, putting all the information together and trying to detect if he was lying. Surprisingly, his mind was not completely closed to her. If she could just peek, just for a moment, without him noticing…

 

_The rain was pouring over them but they walked forward regardless. He could feel Savci’ excitement seeping through all the knight. Suddenly, something in the air. Someone. He started walking faster towards the base._

_“The Resistance is here!” Kameis whispered._

_An explosion made them stop in their tracks. A blaster shot. He turned and stared at the blaster shot suspended in mid-air. His knights did not have the raw power to do that. Behind the shot, a figure, too far to make out through the rain._

 

His mind closed suddenly and his gaze pinned her to the spot. She swallowed, both ashamed and defiant.

“You don’t trust me to tell the truth,” he said, his voice low with disappointment and anger.

“Of course I don’t,” she snapped, a spike of anger going through her.

“I have never lied to you!” His fists curled, violent energy pouring off him. Rey’s own anger subsided.

“I know,” she admitted. “But the truth can still be used as a weapon.”

 

She remembered his harsh words at the throne room. _You’re nothing_.

 

He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself.

 

“I want half of the crystals, if we manage to recover them,” he said, his tone harsh. She blinked.

 

“How many should there be?” She asked, cautiously. There was no way she was going to arm his soldiers with kriffing lightsabers. Or give him enough to build another super-weapon.

 

“Around twenty were stolen. But there’s no way we’ll find them all,” he replied. His eyes were examining her closely, waiting for her answer. She bit her lip. There was no way she would find any crystals without his help, that seemed quite clear. She would have to find a way not to give him the crystals until she knew what he would do with them.

 

“Okay. Half and half seems fair. Why do you think I’ll be able to help you find them?”

 

“You do have access to Resistance information I don’t,” he reminded her. “And that artefact’s diagram you were looking at earlier looked a lot like a crystal tracker, only more complex than any I know. We could look into getting that first.”

 

She nodded and refrained from telling him she already had it. The fact that he had managed to recognise the diagram so easily made her even more wary. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask around. When she looked back at him, his eyes were full of a spark she recognised but had never seen in him before. It was the sort of look some pilots got before going out to battle. He was excited. It did something to her insides and she took a careful breath to stop it from showing in her face. She didn’t have to fight it long, since a second later she felt the bond dissipating and he was gone. She buried her blushing face in the crook of her arm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love, love, love comments! Also, if you see any mistakes please let me know!


	4. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey considers doing something reckless and then has to face unexpected baggage from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this today so no one will feel cheated by the repost of chapter 3 :P

**Chapter 4: Kindness**

 

The artefact was not made out of a metal she knew. Scavanging in Jakku had exposed her to all metals used in war vessels and weapons in general, but this looked to be a lot more delicate and beautiful. It was as long as her forearm, with delicate white-silver patters caging a central mechanism that seemed to float, unsupported, inside. She had asked Rose if she recognised any of the material, as she was familiar with more precious metals than Rey, but she just told her that it wasn’t anything she’d seen before.

The journal did not provide her with any new information. The Jedi had found the artefact in the mountains of Lapravis, as the Alderaniaans were preparing to colonise it. The planet showed no signs of having been inhabited by intelligent races before them, except for this one artefact. The Jedi speculated that it had been left there by a force user, as it had been a disturbance in the force that had led him to it in the first place.

 

The Jedi supposed that it was activated by using the force somehow, but he had not dare try without knowing the purpose of the artefact. Rey agreed with his caution. Kylo had said it looked like a tracker but more complicated. Rey could see that now, but the design was too intricate and impossible to disassemble. She bit her lip. Despite the danger, she felt tempted to just try it. What use was sh really, if she couldn’t get a proper lightsaber?

 

“That would sell very well in the markets,” Finn said, sitting next to her in the house’s library. Most of the books there had been taken out in boxes to be sold so the room looked bare and cold. The cleaning team had done a good job, though, as the couches barely smelled of moisture at all.

“I don’t think we should sell something that could very well be a Jedi weapon,” she answered distractedly, trying to push a finger between the patterns to touch the inner mechanism.

“Should you be poking at it like that, then?” Finn said, placing a hand on hers to stop her movement. Rey shrugged but let the artefact on the seat between them.

“Did you and Poe find anything interesting in the other houses?”

“Not really. A whole house full of holoshows, if you can believe it. And a massive projector!”

 

Rey smiled as Finn told her all about how Poe and him had ended up the afternoon watching holoshows. Not really noticing, her hand came back to the artefact, exploring all its little patterns.

 

* * *

 

Rey was having lunch with Finn, Poe and Rose in the old kitchen of the house the next day. Conversation was flowing easily, talking about all their favourite foods from the different planets they had been on. Rey didn’t have a lot to contribute, not having their experience concerning natural grown food, but she enjoyed the conversation all the same. She committed all the names of things she didn’t know to her memory, saving them for an improbable future where she would get to taste them. Suddenly she felt her stomach contort with a familiar sort of pain. She froze. She didn’t have her medjectors. She had forgotten about this entirely, too preoccupied with rebellion and saving her own life to worry about getting the necessary supplies.

“Rose, can I talk to you for a moment?” Rey asked, trying to keep the panic from her voice. The conversation stopped at her pronouncement and they all looked at her in surprise. She smiled, trying to make it less awkward. Rose frowned but agreed easily enough to get up and go out of earshot of the guys.

 

—

 

There really hadn’t been a way to make it not awkward. Rey had burned with pain and panic. But Rose had been kind and helpful. She had not seemed to understand Rey’s fear, but she had helped her find a new cup in the medikit of the Falcon. There had been no medjectors to be found anywhere, though, and panic had kept growing in Rey. She would have to go through it, then. Rose had sympathetically offered to stay with her to distract her but she had refused. If she had to go through the pain, she had to be alone. Rose had seemed entirely confused by this but had agreed to keep people away from Rey and Finn’s room for the afternoon. So Rey was finally alone, curled up in her bed with her arms around her lower stomach, trying not to shake.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. His sudden presence was entirely overwhelming. She whimpered in pain and fear. “Are you wounded? Hurt?” She ignored him, shaking her head and hiding her face in the pillow. She knew he was kneeling next to the bed, and there was worry and panic coming off of him, but she refused to look at him, her face firmly buried in the pillow.

 

“Go away,” she demanded. The pain was growing, coming in waves, stronger every moment.

“Rey,” it was the first time he called her that since her moment of doubt near Snoke’s mutilated corpse. “Who did this to you?” His voice was dark and urgent. A wave of dark power emanated from him. She could not deal with this.

 

 _No one. It’s normal. Go away._ She pushed the words into his head somehow, though she had not known it was possible before doing it. The dark energy dissipated and she could almost feel the wheels turning in his head.

 

“Oh,” was all he said, standing up and backing away from the bed. The distance did something to her and her eyes burned. He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. She needed him gone. Immediately. She didn’t care what the bond allowed or not. Her whole body was trembling now.

 

“Leave.”

“I…,” he started, then paused. “There are things that help with the pain. Have you taken any?”

She finally looked at him, unleashing all her resentment in her glare.

“No, because there aren’t any here, because we are being chased by a homicidal dictator and had no time to properly stock out getaway ship!” She snapped and saw a flinch cross his features. “So what about you stop pretending to care and leave me the kriff alone…” She had tried to maintain her ire through that second sentence but a sob caught her by surprise, making the word ‘alone’ almost incomprehensible. The sob was followed by another and suddenly she was crying violently and uncontrollably.

 

“It’s not supposed to hurt this much,” he murmured and she turned her back on him, curling on her other side and trying desperately to control herself.

 _What the hell would you know?_ She sent him.

 _I know._ He sent back, and a blurry image of a much younger Leia, her face twisted in discomfort, floated in her brain for a moment.

_Kriff off._

She heard him sigh and shift behind her. The mattress dipped and she felt him peering at her face. 

“Breathe,” he commanded. She sobbed harder and tried to push him away with the Force. It didn’t seem to work, as he only came closer, his face hovering over the side of hers. “Breathe. Get your emotions under control. Don’t let the fear and consume you. Use them to regain control.” He murmured directly into her ear, his breath hitting her cheek. His deep voice was calm and commanding. She sobbed harder and felt him sigh against the side of her neck.

 

Suddenly, she could feel him around the edges of her mind. It scared her how much it didn’t feel invasive. It didn’t feel foreign. Then she understood what he was doing. He was showing her something, sharing a knowledge of something that could not quite be put into words. A will of sorts that he meant for her to push over the mess of feelings inside her so she, as a consciousness, could remain a separate entity. The will felt like a woven fabric of fear, pain, determination and control. She blinked, a stutter in her sobbing, and did what he was showing her. She didn’t understand what her mind was doing but it allowed her to finally breathe.

She took a couple deep breaths and the sobs subsided. Tears still flowed out of her eyes, but the desperation abated. She was bewildered by the shift in her mind. It felt familiar, like something she had done many times but never purposefully.

 

“I can feel it, you know?” He whispered after a moment. “I know this isn’t just a physical pain.”

Her eyes closed tightly, more tears falling out.

“What do you care?” She murmured, pushing a little away from him on the bed. He moved behind her, not exactly closer, but she suspected he was more lying than leaning on the bed now.

 

“Rey,” he whispered softly his deep voice coming from directly behind her head. “Tell me.”

She wouldn’t know where to start. But she also could not resist him, not in her current state. She let out a careful breath and opened her mind wide for him.

 

_She had been alone for many years already. She had managed to find a broken AT-AT to live in and had found ways to feed herself and take care of herself. She had been sick a few times over the years, though never anything serious. That all changed when she woke up one night to an awful pain in her lower stomach and nausea making her gag. She thought she had been given bad portions and went to the pot she kept inside to relieve herself._

_But when she had lowered her pants she had found them coated in blood on the inside. She felt a wave of panic take over her. She had not been wounded in any way recently and this blood was coming from inside her and that could only mean that her organs were bleeding and there was nothing she could do about organs bleeding. This was not good. This was the deadly sort of not good. The panic took over her entirely as she realised she had only enough portions for a meal, not nearly enough to pay the healer at the Niima Outpost. She had planned on eating that for breakfast and going out to earn some more so she could start restocking a little._

_She knew very well there would be no help for her at all. No one cared. No one would help. Everyone was trying to survive or cared more about objects than living beings. She would either die or her insides would mend themselves on their own._

 

_It was two days of pain and blood and hunger and thirst and fear. She slept and cried and writhed in pain and hunger until almost imperceptibly, progressively, the pain had faded away. Blood was still seeping out of her, but she knew that she would not live long if she did not get water. She managed to get up and changed once again the cloths inside her pants._

_The people in the outpost laughed at her stained clothes when she managed to get something to trade but she was suddenly aware of a change in the way the men looked at her. All from the blood that had stained her pants. It had taken her several weeks, and one more frightening painful bleed, to fully understand what had happened. She had had to starve for a week because Unkar Putt refused to buy anything from her other than her body for some outworlder. A danger that had always been there, though muted, was suddenly haunting her every step. She had managed to avoid it, through force of will and hard work, making herself stronger and more valuable as a scavenger than as a whore, but it had been close._

 

_It was almost a whole year later that she learned about the ways to control the pain and after that she always made sure to never feel it again, even if she had to starve for days to get the shots. Having the pain back suddenly after all these year had slammed her right back into that first time, that fear, that absolute feeling of being alone and being no one._

 

“Rey. You are not alone,” he said, a bit too loudly. He was even closer now, his breath against her nape. The words sank into her, into the impossibly wide wounds of her soul. “You are not alone. You will never be alone,” he murmured again, his voice now soft and a little broken. She could feel him trying to push the words into her skin with his mind. The sobs that had stopped with his assistance came back, though they were different now. She turned, her eyes finding his and was surprised to find them misted with unshed tears. She pulled the fabric he had shown her in her mind tight around her feelings and closed her eyes.

 

—

 

When she woke up, he was no longer there, though she could still feel the bond open between them. The pain was still there, but she was managing to breathe through it. She blinked a few times and released a shaky breath. It wasn’t even night yet, so she must’ve slept only a couple of hours. She barely had time to sit up before he was with her again, standing in front of the bed. She looked up at him in surprise, not expecting him back so soon.

“We can keep it open,” she said. He sat in front of her on the bed and nodded.

“Apparently, we can. Here. Take this. Let’s see if this works as well,” he offered something to her and she looked down to see three packaged medjectors. She stared at them in absolute shock for a long moment before snatching them out of his hand, quickly opening one and applying it to her arm. The pain was gone almost immediately and she sighed deeply in relief, sinking back into the bed. Then her eyes opened to find him staring at her with the strangest look on his face.

 

“It works!” She smiled at him and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. “Thank you,” she said, earnestly looking into his eyes, trying to determine what he was thinking. Her mind was still open from what she had shared but he had put his usual barrier on his thought and feelings. Suddenly, a laugh bubbled out of her. ”How on earth did you get a hand on these?”

She was struck by the idea of him asking for menstrual pain relief from some First Order doctor and the possible reaction such a person would have.

“Just a medical drone,” he said, the corner of his mouth curling up. “There were no conversations about the state of my uterus.”

It struck her like a speeder how lighthearted that comment was. She sat up to face him and before she knew what she was doing, she had pressed her lips softly to his shoulder. He sucked in a breath in surprise. She pulled back to look at him and her stomach seemed to do some acrobatics. He looked very young, his eyes wide.

 

“Thank you,” she said again.

He seemed about to say something but then looked away as something called his attention to the side.

As his eyes left her, she felt reality, the outside of this shared space of them, lapping at her consciousness until it broke through. She could not do this. He had refused to leave the dark side. He had killed the one who enslaved him and with his freedom he had done nothing but evil. He had refused to redeem himself for his despicable deeds and then had essentially killed Luke. And here she was, kissing him. Kissing the monster.

 

“So we’re back to monster then,” he ground out, looking back at her. His expression was dark and pained as he stood from the bed. She swallowed her own pain. She was not being entirely fair. He had been more than kind to her that afternoon. She shook her head, not knowing if there was anything she could say.

“Ben…” she started, but nothing came after it.

 

He was gone in a blink. Rey kicked the mattress with her heel once in confused frustration. The two packaged medjectors pressed into her palm as her hand curled into a fist around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really appreciate it if you felt a comment!


	5. Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey, Finn, Rose and Poe go on an adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't being beta-ed, so if you see a mistake, please tell me! I hope you like how this is going, as the action is starting to pick up, finally! Had to edit some dates and names to make it fit into canon a little more tightly.

**Chapter 5: Adventure**

That night, Rey dreamt of rain and a red lightsaber, then a voice, that voice.

_“Stay here. I’ll come back for you. I’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise.”_

She woke up in darkness, her eyes sore from crying.

“Rey? You okay?” Finn asked sleepily from the other side of the room. Rey took a deep breath.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”

Finn fell silent and Rey willed herself to fall asleep again, still tired from the emotional day. Eventually sleep took her again. This time, she dreamt of Han Solo, a hand on her face and love in his eyes. She knew it was not her dream but their shared pain seemed to ricochet and echo off the other and she woke up again, whimpering from it. Abandoning the idea of sleep, she went out with all her books and settled in the living room.

 

The next afternoon, Rey walked up to Poe to help him unload all the boxes of medical supplies from his new ship. Seeing how much he had managed to get in addition to the transport ship made her smile despite how tired she was. He smiled back, placing another box in her arms and taking two for himself. They started walking back together towards the house.

“So I take it the market mission went well?” she enquired. He nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, some of the stuff we sold for double or triple what we expected. A lot of the villagers were interested in the holoshows and books. They were calling for an auction!”

Rey’s eyes widened at the mental image.

“That was in the market in Ryoone?” She asked skeptically, knowing the planet to be almost as poor as Jakku. Poe nodded.

“The First Order has been investing in it for some reason. They’ve got constructions sites all over and are hiring the villagers to work there. And they’re paying all the slavers to send the kids to these temporary schools to brainwash them while they can. It’s all horrible, but it suits us nicely to have them be a little richer.”

Rey stayed silent at that, suddenly conflicted. Getting people jobs in Outer Rim planets did not sound like the actions of a monster. The slavers getting richer was horrible but she knew the children would probably welcome the change. What these temporary schools implied was the worrying part. 

“Oh, don’t let it fool you, doll. They’re buying people’s freedom and have no intension of giving it back.”

Rey shrugged.

“Maybe freedom is overrated when you have food in your belly,” she murmured, not quite believing her own words, but also not knowing how to counter them. Poe grimaced, but stayed silent.

* * *

 

 

“Are you any closer to knowing what that thing does or should I start worrying about it having some mind control over you?” General Organa asked Rey as she walked past her fiddling with the artefact for the third time that day.

“I think its a tracker activated by the force. And it does something else. There’s something that looks almost like a miniature hyperdrive, but I’m not sure what the point of that would be in a handheld device,” Rey murmured absentmindedly.

 

She had managed to memorise every pattern on the outer shell of the artefact. Through clever use of a torch, she now knew most of the mechanism inside as well. The tracking system was linked to a series of different contraptions going along the length of a central mast. As they moved farther from the tracking, they got even more complicated. Each contraption seemed to contain a separate source of energy, and each emitted a different intensity of light. She had no idea what any of them did.

 

“I was actually meaning to ask you something,” Rey called to Leia as she saw the General preparing to continue on her way. Leia sat next to her on the musty coach, leaving her cane by her side. “I need to find a kyber crystal to make a lightsaber. There’s no point in training as a Jedi without one.”

Leia shook her head, sadly.

“I haven’t seen one in years now,” she sighed. “The empire appropriated any lightsaber they could get their hands on. And the First Order gathered what was left of the crystals. That’s how we found out about the weapon they were building. Of course, no one in the Senate took us seriously, at the time.” Leia’s eyes hardened at the memory and then she turned back to Rey.

 

—

 

“I’m sorry, youngling, I don’t think I’ve seen a kyber crystal in over ten years now. No one has even hinted at having one,” Maz’s holo image told Rey. She seemed to be constructing something that was just out of sight. Rey sighed in disappointment. Maz had been Leia’s only suggestion to help her locate a crystal.

 

“What about someone who could’ve stolen some from the First Order at Starkiller base around five years ago? Someone who went to Starkiller base as it was being built. That’s where all the crystals were used.” Rey threw caution to the wind, desperate to find out what she could. Leia eyed her with suspicion but answered before Maz could.

“What the Resistance stole from Starkiller five years ago were constructions plans. We used them to sabotage construction and delay it for a few years. Luke was already in hiding back then and I had no idea kyber crystals would be important.”

“Oh, I remember that mission. Wasn’t that scoundrel Rieto still running around with you?” Maz intervened, talking to Leia directly. “If anyone stole anything and just kept it, it’s probably him.”

 

Leia seemed skeptical but agreed to let Rey know about this potential thief. Rey felt excitement bubbling up inside her at the possibility of actually finding what she needed. Of finally having a lightsaber in her hands again.

 

They ended the call with Maz and Rey was about to ask about this Rieto character but Leia beat her to it.

“How did you know about that resistance mission on Starkiller?” She asked, suspicion distorting her features.

“It’s something I heard while I was on the Supremacy. I only made the connection to kyber crystals from my readings and realising that Starkiller base was probably the planet Illum, which is mentioned often in my books.”

Rey hated to lie to her, but she was sure no one would understand what was happening to her.

 

She had told Leia the same as she had told Chewie and no more. That she had felt through the Force that Ben was conflicted so she had decided to go to him to try and turn him. He had brought her to Snoke but killed him instead and then took his place as Supreme Leader. She had opposed him and broke Luke’s lightsaber in the process. She had told them nothing of a Force Bond.

 

Rey was startled to feel Leia’s inquisitive stare actually push into her mind. She kept her out easily, having a lot of practice with the bond now, but wondered if the General even knew what she was doing. Leia nodded after a moment, her eyes still suspicious.

“Well, wherever you got that, Maz isn’t wrong. If anyone took anything that day, it would be Rieto. He always enjoyed stealing just for the joy of it. He kept stolen treasures from all his missions.”

This made Rey’s hope soar again.

“So where can I find him?”

* * *

 

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Finn grumbled, as Poe landed a 200-year-old luxury cruiser right in the open parking of Kuat-Entralla Engineering . Through the observation glass, Rey could see a First Order vessels all around them and couldn’t help but agree with Finn.

 

“Positivity is always half the mission,” Poe said as he stood and came to stand next to them. Rey had to admit, they all made a pretty picture, dressed in elegant gowns and suits. Her face, as well as Rose’s, was almost unrecognisable under all the make-up. She wasn’t entirely comfortable in the gown she had found, an almost transparent pale lilac lace gown that didn’t cover her arms or back at all. Rose had managed to find something a little less revealing, a red dress with a straight edge across her shoulders and a cape of sorts covering her arms. All their outfits were probably a little strange by current fashion, but 200 years of change would probably mean they could be trying to set new trends, at least that’s what Leia had said. She smiled at her friends, hoping with all her heart this mission wouldn’t hurt any of them. That no one would pick up on their not-quite-right ship and their not-quite-right attires.

 

“Mr and Mrs Opuurin, how nice to finally meet you in person!” A simpering man greeted them at the end of the ship’s ramp. He shook Finn’s hand and then kissed Rey’s hand far too thoroughly. A shiver of disgust crawled up her back, but she kept her face pleasant as she introduced the sales man to “her friends, Abraxis and Nicomena Altair”.

“What kind of vessel would you like to see, Mr Opuurin,” the man, Vislor, if Rey remembered correctly, went straight to business and Finn smiled, placing a kiss on Rey’s cheek.

“Oh, whatever the lady wants, I’m just here to stare at these magnificent war ships you have lying around!”

They had agreed early on in planning that if they were going to Kuat, they might as well get a sense of what the Kuat factories were churning out for the First Order now. Finn was not the best of actors, but Vislor seemed used to this sort of admiration, for he only smiled and lead them through the parking and into an exposition hangar.

 

“We are of course very proud to be the main suppliers of TIE fighters in the galaxy,” he droned, pointing towards a gleaming TIE fighter that Rey knew to be at least ten years old in technology.

“Oh, these are marvel, aren’t they, honey?” Finn simpered, and Poe coughed a little to cover a laugh.

“I was actually hoping to see something a little newer. What’s the cutting edge Drive Yard in the galaxy doing now?” he put in, and Rey held her breath.

“Of course, sir, we have a few beauties to showcase if you’d like!”

Rey was surprised by how easy that was, but continued with the established plan.

 

“Mr. Vislor, my husband and Abraxis here are very enthusiastic about their little war machines, but we ladies would much rather acquire some cruisers. As you saw from my ship, I usually prefer the vintage vessels but I’d like to know what new pleasures can be found in your newest lines.”

Vislor only hesitated for a second before pointing to a wide door to the side of the hangar.

“Of course, my ladies, if you would like to go through that door, my colleague Lorenz will assist you while I show your husbands our combat vessels.”

 

Rey and Rose managed to convince Lorenz to take them to his supervisor, who would know more about the more extravagant elements in the ships they wanted, and also happened to be the man they needed to talk to. He was a big and bulky man covered in excessive fabrics and enough jewellery to feed an Outer Rim planet for a month. Rey smiled as best as she could and shook his hand, taking a seat in front of him and besides Rose.

 

“We would love to buy a couple of ships worthy of a princess!” Rose answered to his enquiries, and Rey could see the word “princess” have the desired effect on the man. His smile froze slightly and he asked Lorenz to leave them. As soon as his employee was gone, his whole demeanour shifted to something scared and frantic.

“Are you crazy, girls? This planet is completely under First Order control now! You need to get out of here now!”

“We just need to ask you some questions! We’ll be out of here in no time,” Rey promised, but Reito was already on his feet and trying to get them out of their seats.

“It is such a bad time for you to be here, you have no idea!” he urged them.

“Please, I just need to know if you took a bag of kyber crystals from Illum eight years ago, that’s all.”

He frowned at the question, but stopped trying to pull Rey out of her chair.

“No, that wasn’t me, I wanted to steal them but someone beat me to it,” he answered quickly. “If you want to live, you really should leave now.”

“What? Who stole it then?” she pressed, feeling Rose get up beside her, obviously taking his threats seriously.

“I have no idea! I saw someone running with it, but it was raining too much and the First Order caught up to us so I had to let it go. I figured I’d be able to buy some when they hit the black market, but they never did.”

Something shifted in the air and Rey frowned.

“We need to leave,” she whispered and got up. Reito sighed in relief at the words.

“Yes! right now! Through here!” He guided them to what looked like a normal wall, but opened at his touch. They went into a corridor that went completely dark when the wall shut behind them.

“What was that about?” Rose whispered urgently, but before Rey could answer, Lorenz’s voice carried to them from the other side of the wall.

“Sir? The… Supreme Leader is here,” the salesman said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments!! Keep them coming!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr: [IWillSingWithYou](iwillsingwithyou.tumblr.com)


End file.
